It’s hard to believe that Christmas was only really 4 weeks ago as it already feels much longer. I have been back to work for less than 10 working days and I’m already missing my mid-morning walks where I can switch off, listen to a podcast and be in someone else’s world for an hour or so.

During one walk I was listening to one of Bryony Gordon’s podcasts. Bryony is a best selling author, columnist for the Telegraph and is a well known mental health advocate, having been honest and open about her own mental health struggles. For this particular podcast Bryony was interviewing Nadiya Hussain, who the nation fell in love with in 2015 when Nadiya took part in and won the Great British Bake Off. The podcast was recorded during the first lockdown and so Bryony was kicking off the interview by asking her guests ‘How are you, really?’ Nadiya was completely honest with her and responded by saying she wasn’t ok. It then just got me thinking about how often we ask people how they are and how often do they respond honestly, whether it’s good or not, and so was the inspiration for the poem below.

Despite very much anticipating Lockdown 3.0, the day after the announcement it hit me more than expected, and no matter what social media platform I was looking at, it seemed as though everyone was feeling it. The thought of another Lockdown just didn’t seem bearable for most – the homeschooling, the shielding, the going out (or not) restrictions, being unable to see family or socialise properly with friends, the lack of travel, even if you just wanted to go a few miles down the road…add another quick spreading Covid strain into the mix and you have a cocktail of emotions no-one really wants to take a drink of. It’s tough.

Lockdown aside, 2021 has started off fairly positive for me. I entered 2020 feeling as exhausted as the year before with no real idea why, until 6 months later I was diagnosed with a significant B12 deficiency. In January 2020, I lacked energy for anything and everything, and I struggled on through a very busy period of managing the impact of the pandemic in my current NHS managerial role. Although last year wasn’t the easiest for me, I did learn a lot about how to better manage myself during difficult times and as a result, I’m aiming to achieve a little more during the current lockdown. That said, I’m not saying I will breeze through this lockdown, which feels never-ending – I’m equally sure there will be days where I don’t want to get out of bed and will be less than productive.

There’s no right or wrong way to deal with or approach all of this – you just need to do what works for you and for self-preservation. Give yourself permission to have a off day, to stop and chill on the sofa, to go for a walk, and if you’re still not feeling it after 10 minutes, to turn back and go home. 

Talk to someone if you’re struggling and don’t suffer in silence. If someone asks you how you are then be honest and tell them; if you’re asking others if they are ok then ask a second time just to be sure. 

You are not a burden – you’re human.

You are not alone – we are all in this together.

If you are struggling at this time and are looking for support, the following organisations may be able to help:

Samaritans – http://www.samaritans.org, Tel: 116 123; Mind – http://www.mind.org.uk, Tel:0300 123 3393; Heads Together – http://www.headstogether.org.uk; Calm – http://www.thecalmzone.net Tel: 0800 585 858